Doki Doki Suikoden – Too many crotch shots

dokisui_frontIf you read that title and thought, “There’s no such thing as too many crotch shots” then congratulations! You just found the perfect video game. You can die happy now.

I first became interested in Doki Doki Suikoden when I watched a video about it on Youtube. This was shortly after I’d finished Motto Nuga-Cel, so I was amused and intrigued to learn that there’s more than one Japanese game out there where you fight by stripping girls to their underwear. In retrospect I shouldn’t have been surprised at all. It’s just typical Japan.

The decisive difference between Dokisui and Nuga-Cel is that the latter is actually a game. The former is a visual novel. In Nuga-Cel you’re trying to take over Tokyo. Stripping is just a means to that end. In Dokisui, the whole point of the experience is girls, girls, girls. You don’t have to strip the girls there either, but then there’s no other point to the game.

Sure, lots of people aren’t bothered by excessive fanservice. Some people would even buy an entire game just for that, but I’m not one of those. If the underlying game/story is good enough I can ignore the panties and focus on that. But otherwise I’m not so bored or desperate that I’ll play just anything no matter how cheap and unappealing.

And so I played Doki Doki Suikoden for for 2-3 hours and it was a real disappointment, even for a visual novel. The character designs aren’t exactly bad, and the art in general is more than decent, but not enough to make up for the lacking nature of everything else. The story is so typical it doesn’t even bear mentioning. If I recall correctly, my main character is a transfer student who just moved back to his old town after 10 years. On his way to school the first day, he runs into a girl with her skirt flipped up for all the world to see. Do please go on, this is most interesting

Summon Night 3 – Fine game, but a little too long

summon night 3_frontAlso the story needed a bit more work. Before I proceed, I must confess that I haven’t finished Summon Night 3 and don’t intend to do so. I hate bosses with endlessly spawning minions, so I quit the boss battle 3 turns in. It’s not like I care how it ends any more. That’s what tends to happen when a game drags on too long.

Story (spoilers)

Narrator: Attie, our protagnist, has washed up on a island with her student and a magic sword. It is an awesome magic sword. Everyone wants her awesome magic sword. But first…

Pirates: We hate you.
Attie: Let’s be friends.
Pirates: Ok.
Student: I hate you.
Attie: Let’s be friends.
Student: Ok.
Island Guardians: We hate you.
Attie: Let’s be friends.
Island Guardians: Ok.
Other pirates: We hate you.
Attie: Let’s be friends.
Other pirates: Ok.

[End Part 1] Do please go on, this is most interesting

Ookiku Furikabutte: Hontou no Ace ni Nareru Kamo – Okay for one or two playthroughs

ookiku furikabutte_frontI’m not a mega-huge fan of Ookiku Furikabutte (known in the west as Big Windup!) but it’s definitely one of the best sports anime I’ve seen so far. I liked it enough that I even bought the series after watching it for free on Funimation’s youtube channel. So despite my misgivings about anime spin-off games, i.e. they usually suck, I decided to give this DS game a shot.

For a cheap tie-in to Season 1, it’s not half bad. It’s less a sports game and more a collection of slice of life skits involving the Nishiura baseball team. Maybe it was designed to satisfy those fans who would have preferred less baseball and more team interaction, especially in the latter half of the show.

What you have here is a day by day, blow by blow look at Mihashi’s life from after the Mihoshi practice match all the way until the end of the Tousei match. He goes to school, after school he goes to practice, then he walks home with his buddies and goes to bed. Next day, the same. Next day, the same. Every once in a while they have a practice match. There’s a long interval where you have to study because the coach won’t let you play if you flunk your tests. And she really won’t – you’ll get an instant game over.

screen_game_01_bThe “game” part is a collection of mini-games which raise 4 team stats: trust, strength, batting and fielding. There’s one where you polish balls, another where you pick up balls, there’s pitching and batting, skipping rope, tossing the ball back and forth and some other stuff, all of which you play with the stylus and touchscreen. Easy, fun stuff. If you want more, you can play those games from the main menu screen and they’ll still count towards your stats.

Whether you win, lose or draw practice games and the final match depends on whether your stats are high enough or not. I have to stress that this is not a baseball game, so you won’t be playing the matches yourself. They might let you “pitch” or “bat” once, but that’s about it.

There are also no penalties for losing a practice game and no rewards for winning one, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Also if your stats are too low going into the Tousei match, they don’t bother letting you play, you automatically lose 6-3. I learned that the hard way. If your trust with one particular character is high enough you supposedly get their end. I focused too much on raising everyone’s trust equally, so I got an “Everyone is happy, Mihashi is the ace” ending instead. That’s okay with me.

screen2_game_01_bStuff that bothered me a bit: All 7 schools you face use the exact same pitcher, who throws the exact same pitch. They should have invented 7 new pitchers instead, just for the fun of it. Speaking of which, Junta from Tousei looks horrible when he’s pitching. Another thing: not being able to skip or forward scenes on the first playthrough sucked. Thirdly there really should have been more mini-games. They get kind of boring after a while.

Still, as I said, the point of Hontou no Ace ni Nareru Kamo is to enjoy scenes and minor events that aren’t present in the anime/manga in addition to the regular anime events. Sorta of “official fanfiction”, if there’s such a thing. It’s very much a character game, just like Ookiku Furikabutte is very much a character show and the sports, while very well done, is just there as a medium of expression. So if you’re a fan of the characters and you can read simple Japanese and you really want to see, say, Tajima, Mihashi and Izumi hanging out after school or Sakaeguchi and Suyama fooling around before practice or 10 extra scenes of Abe yelling at Mihashi, this is your game. For everyone else it’s a cute collection of minigames, but not really worth going out of your way to play.

Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru – Metroidvania for girls

ore ga omae wo mamoru_frontThe first release in Idea Factory’s now abandoned Otomate Forte series of games. The idea was to produce regular games with a ‘girl-friendly’ coating to make them more appealing to female gamers. The second game was Date ni Gametsui wake ja nai, which was a remake of Master of the Monster Lair with added bishies. Apart from the new character designs, there was nothing girly about that game. Alas, the same goes for Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru, a tough but enjoyable Metroidvania-meets-dungeon crawler type of game.

Ah, Idea Factory and their wacky ideas. I do so love them. Their thought process must have gone something like: girls don’t play Metroidvania games –> Why not? –> Because they’re too hard and don’t have enough bishies –> So if we make an easy one we can rake in the cash! Brilliant!

Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit here. Maybe producing all those otome games went to their head and they started randomly adding bishies to everything. Either way they went ahead and the result was a pretty good game. It must have sold like trash though, firstly because apart from the bishies, it’s not very girl-friendly and secondly because the “made by girls for girls, now with 20% more bishies” premise must have turned off many a male gamer who might otherwise have enjoyed this game. Heaven forbid anything attack their budding sexualities.

For the purposes of this post I won’t be taking into account the many female gamers who eat action games for breakfast. After all Idea Factory sure as heck didn’t. Their target audience for the Otomate Forte games was most likely the same people who buy their many, many, seriously they have like 1000 titles, many, many otome visual novels. Maybe the intention was to introduce them to other genres and thereby expand the market for Idea Factory’s regular games? If that was the case, then they failed from the start when they chose a male protagonist. Then they failed even further in the following ways:

oregaomae dungeon– The nice art and character designs were calculated to appeal to visual novel fans, but 95% of the game is spent in a dungeon that looks like the screenshot on your right.
– The game is actually pretty hard and requires a decent amount of skill to finish. Yet their target demographic are fans of “games” that require lots of reading and nothing else. There’s a fundamental disconnect there.
– Very little story. The story that does exist is decent, but super duper predictable. There’s this ultra powerful stone, your master sends you and your best friend to get it, haha JRPG best friend, of course he’s gonna get the stone and go crazy and make you have to kill him. The end.
– Very little character interaction. Again, contrast that with the standard visual novel where you do nothing but interact.
– Linear, no choices to make.
– Bad end. Let’s just say your best friend doesn’t go down alone. No alternative endings, no chance to play as another character. It would have been nice to replay from the point of view of your best friend. No New Game+ either, btw.
– No real romance. “I will protect you” is the title, but the hero spends the game keeping the girl at arm’s length. The ending has them going their separate ways in an “I’ll see you when I see you” kind of way. Basically she finally gets the memo that he’s not that into her.

How did they ever expect this to appeal to visual novel players? This is just my guess, but it would have been better to start with a normal turn-based jRPG with an otome game flavor. Maybe something like Arabians Lost, but with less talking and more playing. If that works, they can move on to other genres, like SRPGs and platformers. I mean, I still think it makes more sense to create games that anyone and everyone can enjoy instead of slapping a “for girls” label where it doesn’t belong. But that said, I wouldn’t mind playing the girlish equivalent of Final Fantasy or Fire Emblem. What’s the feminine form of Ike… Ikea? I’d play that.

Gameplay – Who’s gonna protect ME?!

A 2D side-scrolling action game. Run, jump, roll, hack, slash with your sword, throw your knife. You can escape damage by rolling, but you can’t block. There’s an HP bar, but no EXP and no leveling up. You can’t grind your way through, so you must survive by your wits unaided. While you can leave the dungeon at any time, the escape item costs 420G each, so you have to be careful at the start. Your only hope is to get better at running and jumping, quickly. Improve or die.

If the inability to tank your way through doesn’t deter you, welcome to Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru. Apart from the main story mission, most of your time is spent just exploring the dungeon, killing monsters, foraging for alchemy ingredients and carrying out quests for the adventurer’s guild. Along the way you find various power ups, such as more HP and the ability to double jump, as well as several equippable skills that boost your stats and add new abilities.

I might not be the gamer Idea Factory had in mind when making this game, but I sure had a great time playing it. Of course it’s easy to boast now that I’ve finished the game, especially when it ended with my stats like this:

www.tehvidya.com www.tehvidya.com

But really, it wasn’t so hard. Really. And I had a blast all the way through. I especially enjoyed:

1. Collecting random treasures that do nothing but look good in your inventory.
2. Using the alchemy pot in the item shop to make tons of useful items and accessories.
3. Marking up the dungeon map to remind myself of useful information, like where the save points are, where the friendly monsters are, where the best farming points are, etc. All DS games should come with markable maps.
4. Being able to warp around the map to save myself a ton of walking. Discovering a new save point was like winning the lottery!
5. Upgrading and synthesizing powerful new weapons at the weapon shop.
6. Doing all 75 fully optional adventurer guild quests. Fetch quests, extermination quests, go talk to this monster quests, I did them all. I’ve gotta stop pretending I hate sidequests. I can’t live a lie any more.
7. Dat feel when you find a great new accessory or skill in the dungeon.
8. Dat feel when you kill a tough boss, especially early on. It’s too bad they got so easy towards the end. I had like 50 of the best healing item, so I just walked up to the late bosses, tanked their hits and healed when things got bad.

First he needs protection from his tailor...

He will protect you! But first he needs protection from his tailor…

If all Metroidvanias are like this, I think I’ve found me a new genre to explore. Having said that, apart from the problem where it was marketed to the wrong kind of fans, Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru was rightly panned for the following reasons:

1. The horribly, incredibly, shockingly bad slowdown you get when more than two or three enemies appear on the screen. I’ve never seen anything so bad in all my years of gaming. There’s no way Idea Factory didn’t notice this in testing. Which means they deliberately released a game they knew was buggy and charged full price for it. For that alone they deserve to be soundly criticized. Shame on them.
2. Those 3 places where I got stuck for ages. The crumbling platform with the damned bat on level 2 (slash it in mid air), the room with the golden knights in level 3 (there’s a switch hidden behind a pillar) and the place just above that with the backward and forward jumps (don’t use double jump, just fall, throw a knife on the next screen then jump immediately to land next to the golden flower). Together they must have added 3 or 4 hours to my play time.
3. It got a little too easy towards the end. Even I was itching for a little more challenge by the time I cleared the game.
4. The S-rank quests were a joke. Go fight the same dragon 3 times. Then go fight this other dragon 3 times. Then fight this wolf 3 times. That’s the S-rank? I was really hoping for some crazily strong bonus bosses.
5. Palette swap upon palette swap upon palette swap. I hear they got a famous artist to do the main character’s design. They should have spent the money on a famous monster designer instead.
6. The graphics were kinda bad. Not bad enough to interfere with enjoyment, but there was plenty of room for improvement.
7. The sound quality was bad too. Bad enough for me to notice, and I normally don’t care about that sort of thing. It’s a pity because the game is fully voiced by (apparently) well-known voice actors.

Still I’d like to see Idea Factory make a “regular” i.e. non-girly version of this game with the crippling lag issues fixed, more monster variety and a little more challenge. If they do that I’ll wholeheartedly recommend it. I enjoyed it that much.

In which I moderately praise Phantasy Star Portable 2 for being a very good game, objectively speaking

psp2 mikaIt took me 20 hours, but I finished Phantasy Star Portable 2. Take that, stupid Kumhan! You and your stupid Light Attack that killed me 6 times until I realized it was blockable! It’s not just blockable but it’s his weakest attack once you block it. All those wasted attempts. Tch.

I was a bit sorry for Shizuru by the end though. As far as white-haired pretty boys go, he wasn’t so bad. See, this is why I hate possessed and mind-controlled bad guys so much. I tried hard not to get a good ending in the hopes that Emilia would die, but the better characters snuffed it instead. Tch again.

I did a couple of the open missions after finishing, and they were good. Really, really good. Most of the criticisms I made last time only apply mainly to Story Mode anyway. That’s where enemies scale to match your level so that grinding makes no difference and the stinginess of your teammates really hurts. But still, as much as my head knows it’s good, my heart just doesn’t have room for Phantasy Star Portable 2. I’d like to finish up today with a look at the things they got right and the few things they still need to fix up for the next game (which is no longer an auto-buy for me because I’m fickle as hell).

The stuff they got right

+ Lots of variety in story missions. Unlike open missions where you just run from point A to point B grabbing keys along the way, story missions require a lot of thinking and more than a little skill, especially if you want to A rank them. You don’t just have to grab keys, you also have to evade traps, decipher writing, protect facilities, activate switches, etc etc. Some of it was frustrating, but much of it was good.

Hello, ladies!

Hello, ladies!

+ The story was pretty good. “These ghosts are going to take over our bodies and we’re all going to die! Unless we carry out this daring plan with a 0.005% chance of success, which is gamerspeak for 100%!” I like simple stories in my Action RPGs. Let’s me focus on the really important stuff, like massacring enough wildlife to give PETA a heart attack.

+ They threw in a couple of story-related sidequests which were even more interesting than the main plot.

+ I guess it wasn’t that hard after all. I mean, I did manage to finish it without too much trouble. And that final hit felt really good. Action RPG boss fights really are the best!

+ Lots and lots and lots and lots of weapons and armor to collect. Too bad the limited PP meant I only used twin sabers and double sabers all the way through. I thought this would be the game where I finally expanded my repertoire, but it wasn’t to be.

+ Even more fashionable duds for me to deck my dude out in. They even gave me a whole room to decorate!

+ No more slowdown in the battles. They worsened the loading times but once battles actually get under way it’s all smooth sailing. I doubly appreciate this because I’m playing a DS game called Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru right now and it has INCREDIBLY bad lag whenever more than 2 enemies show up on the screen. So thanks for doing it right, Sega.

The stuff they need to fix

silly vn choices The stupid visual novel choices came back again. Just look at the screenshot on the right. Which one’s the right one? What makes one answer “right” and the other “wrong”? It’s even worse than in the first game because there are even more random questions and the right answers are even more ambiguous.

Needs less annoying characters. Emilia and Lumia in particular. I give Shizuru a bit of a pass for being possessed, I mean, no sane man would willingly dress like that. Also this might be just me, but I’m already sick of the legacy characters from Phantasy Star Universe and stuff. More new guys, please.

Not only did carrying my save bonus over give me crappy rewards, but my imported character didn’t look like my old character at all! They went and bishie’d him up and made him look all generic and JRPG-like. Do not want. It took a lot of work to make him look halfway hardcore.

Visuals are brighter than before, but still kind of dark. I guess it’s a Phantasy Star thing.

And that’s it. Great game, but it never really “got” me in the heart. I probably expected too much after the first game blew me away. PSP2 is a better game all around, but without that advantage of surprise it was never going to overthrow its predecessor. I’d like to do all the open missions at least once before I shelve the game, but I’m kind of bored right now so maybe after a break. We’ll see.

Currently playing: Doki doki Suikoden, Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru, Summon Night 3.