Turnabout Storyteller is so stupid I’m going to spoil it. Wait, no. Wait yes, I’m going to spoil. I want to spoil. I have to spoil to get it off my chest. Whoddunit: it was Geiru Toneido (obviously, srsly). Whatdunnit: A lump of udon dough over the face. Yah rly. Motive: Because he wouldn’t give her the title she wanted. And she fed the leftover dough to her dog. And, and, Uendo really does have a 4th personality called Owen who just shows up for a few minutes after half the case is devoted to getting him out there even though we all knew he existed and just wanted Athena to GET ON WITH IT ALREADY. Split personalities? Seriously?

It’s all too maddening for words. Like, WHY??? Why must you waste my time with this stupid irrelevant case when there are so many interesting things happening in Khura’in right now? I thought for sure Episode 4 was somehow going to be a set up the final episode but it turned out to be nothing more than an amateur filler trial.

And a terrible one to boot. A really, really bad one. The client is drunk off his noggin’, the witnesses are a bunch of time wasters, I’m sick of this stupid prosecutor and his one-pattern reactions already and Athena is so terrible at her job that Simon Blackquill basically coaches her from start to finish. After all this time she can’t even try a proper case by herself?… so annoying!

This really should have been a DLC case, not a case in a proper Ace Attorney game, and certainly not right in the middle of all the drama and skulduggery going on elsewhere that I am just itching to get back to. They should at least have rearranged the order of the cases like this: Ep 1 – Phoenix, Ep 2 & 3 – Apollo and Athena, Ep 4 & 5 – Yay, Phoenix again! That would make for tighter storytelling, and then by the time the game was over I wouldn’t even remember what a worthless attorney Athena is. What’s the point of putting her in the game if they’re just going to embarrass her?

Rrgghh. I was really looking forward to the conclusion of Spirit of Justice, but if Turnabout Storyteller is Capcom’s idea of a game-worthy case then I’m probably going to be disappointed again. Tout l’espoir que j’avais / Je commence a le perdre. And obviously the 3DS is still trying to act up again. Obviously. I’m not even going to tell you what it did this time. I’d better finish Spirit of Justice tout de suite while I still can. And before I get even more angry at how bad Ep 4 was and quit altogether. Hang in there, me!