Tokimeki Memorial 3 is the black sheep of the Tokimemo family, the least-praised, least-loved and least-remembered today. Fans complained about the dumbed-down system and 3D character design when the game was released, but I believe all would have been forgiven if the cast of girls had been even slightly attractive and memorable. Now I’m no Tokimemo expert beyond games 1, 4 and the Girls’ Side games. Even when I put myself into the shoes of a Tokimemo fan, though, I’m hard pressed to figure out what Konami expected me to like about this game.

I will say, though, that this isn’t a bad game. It’s easily the worst Tokimemo game, but it does have some things going for it. I actually liked the much-criticized 3D character designs. They moved just enough to be lively without being spastic like, say, the girls from Love Plus.

Another nice thing TM3 did was to seriously ramp up the number and variety of dates. Movies, plays, game shows, robot shows, water slides, body surfing, lots and lots of things to do. I never went on the same date twice unless I wanted to – there was that much variety.

I also liked having to get a girl’s telephone number directly from her instead of from your stalker friend. I’ve always found it a bit creepy how your friend just gives out girls’ phone numbers without their permission. I feel better calling her as well, because she wouldn’t give me her number if she didn’t want me to call, right? ^_^ It’s too bad they dropped that system to pacify the weak-willed herbivore otaku in TokiMemo 4.

That’s about it as far as it goes, though. The game wasn’t bad, but it sure was boring.

1. The girls. I chose Emi Tachibana not because I especially liked her but because she was the best card in a bad hand. Visually all the girls are fairly cute, but personality-wise there’s not much to choose between them. Yukiko was cute, but dull. Rika had a screechy annoying voice and looked too “loli” to take seriously. Oda Mari was unfriendly and not that pretty. Also I don’t see how being an actress’s daughter automatically makes her a “lady”. Chitose with her green hair and bad Engrish was annoying. Also she bombed me. And I avoided meeting whoever the last girl was by ignoring the flags. That left me with Emi by default. Nice girl, but not nice enough to save the game.

2. Bombs. You meet some guy/girl once and they quickly start spreading nasty rumors about you because you won’t date them. Normally I take it as part of the game, but TM3 really messed things up. For some bizarre reason asking a girl on a date, giving her a present or even outright dating her is not sufficient to diffuse a bomb. I have no idea what they intended me to do about it, but by the end of the game every single girl except Chitose and Emi were threatening to bomb me. And the only reason why Chitose wasn’t bombing me was because hers had already blown up. I was confused all the way through.

3. Clothing inspections. Each girl has a very specific outfit she wants you to wear on dates. Even if it makes no sense for a high school kid to wear a business suit to the beach. If you don’t please her, she’ll either look upset and disappointed or flat out walk off and leave you hanging. And she sure as hell won’t tell you what you did wrong so you can fix it.

4. A little too easy. Your raiseable stats are reduced to 4: literature, science, arts and exercise. Your stats go up really quickly, and according to the FAQs, most girls need only one date and 1 stat to be at a certain low level in order to win them. Oda Mari, for example, needs only 1 date, an arts level of 30 and lovey-dovey status. Emi needs 1 date, sports level 20 (extremely low) and lovey-dovey status. You barely need to put in any effort at all.

5. Your friends. I hesitate to even call them “friends,” because they don’t like you at all. I suspect the almost excessive bro-ness of your buddies in TM4 was a direct response to the unfriendliness of your ‘buddies’ in this game. They’re useful for nothing, they hang up on you when you call them, they almost never hang out with you and I can’t remember any conversations with them that didn’t involve one or both parties sneering at each other. Terrible.

6. School. Non-school activities like dates and festivals were really well done, but school sucked. Nothing interesting happens on sports day or at the school festival, interaction with teachers and classmates is basically zero. It made me question the point of setting the game in a high school, apart from tradition.

7. Dating Emi Tachibana. Sweet, ladylike girl. More of a well-bred lady than Oda Mari, at any rate. Does her aikido, goes on her dates, gets on with her life without needing anyone. While Emi had some club-related drama going on, she solved it all by herself without ever involving me. That was the problem, really. We’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be in love with each other, but she never opened up to me at all. I actually got the option to pry into the matters that bother her in post-date conversations, but she always kept you at arm’s length. “Oh yeah I’m totally fine, don’t worry about it.” A cold, distant relationship like that is mere acquaintance, not even friendship, much less dating.

Unfortunately nothing about the game suggests that dating other girls would be any different. I also didn’t enjoy my one, long playthrough enough to venture another one. None of the other TM/GS games have been perfect, but they’ve had some characters or some fun quirks that invited more than one run from me. I guess in the end the biggest flaw of Tokimeki Memorial 3 is that it’s just no fun at all.

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